Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. So I thought I would continue my list of things to look for in a mate. In one of my most popular posts, “5 Qualities to look for in a mate” I shared the five things I encouraged my kids to look for. Over the years there were other things that I thought were important and thought Iwould list them here.
It is important to trust the one you marry. If you cannot there will be problems from the start. No one knows you better than your spouse. Does the person know how to keep a secret? Do they like to embarrass you or others by telling things that are private? Do people view them as trustworthy?
Every area of life will be attached to the person you marry; personal, legal, emotional, and spiritual. If you can’t trust them RUN AWAY!!!
We are works in progress and patience is a virtue that cannot be underestimated. Without patience marriage will not succeed, parenting will be a failure, and job security will be a fantasy. Patience is the foundation of longevity, long suffering, kindness, and humility. Impatient people do not have the ability to be realistic in life or relationships. Be patient in your search and be aware if patience is resident in others.
This may sound a bit superficial but the reality is, you are going to live with this person for the rest of your life and while beauty and physical attraction change, there is a chemical and physical connection that needs to be present. Ask the question am I attracted to this person? Does the room light up when they enter? Does he or she catch my attention?
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So ask, is beauty there? I have been dating and married to my wife all together for 31 years this year and when she enters the room my heart still jumps because I am so attracted to her.
When my kids were dating I would watch to see the laughter or sparkle in their eye. If the young man or young lady didn’t make them laugh I knew it wouldn’t last. Humor/laughter is a medicine that helps, and heals in the good and bad times. Relationships are tough and there are many valleys to walk through. If there is no laughter on the mountaintop, then there will be no healing laughter in the valley.
Marriage can go through seasons of mundane ruts that seem to lead to a dead, or lifeless relationship. Creativity is important in a person. Is the person creative, always looking for new ways of doing things, trying something new? Eating a new kind of food, going home a different way. Little things seem to spark the creative in all of us. It is hard to be creative in a society that tries to force a color in the lines, sit in rows, buy off the rack lifestyle. Be creative yourself and see if the person responds.
Finding the right person is an overwhelming challenge. Yet with the right focus you can find love in the right place and it can grow into an amazing life.
Question: What did you or do you look for in a Mate?